Our actions are often subordinated not to free will, but by the script laid down in childhood. This conclusion was reached by the American psychotherapist Eric Bern,
revealing the world the concept of transactive analysis, or the analysis of interactions. What actions increase mutual understanding between us, and which lead to conflict? The psychologist explains.
Consider for three
Studying the laws of our daily interaction, Eric Bern proved: in contact with each other, people show only one of the dominant submarines, or, as he described it, ego-state.
In terms of set of features of thinking and behavior, Bern identified three ego-state and gave them conditional names: Parent, adult and child. In one or another life situation, these subpersonalities are manifested in us spontaneously and control our actions. Including in communication with others. Sometimes these manifestations are inadequate situations and lead to conflicts.
How to understand which ego state now dominates?
By observing verbal and non -verbal means of communication
The parentalism appears to others in the imperative mood: it requires, condemns or approves, teaches, leads, helps, criticizes, frowns the eyebrows and crosses his hands on his chest. The parent’s thinking is polar and evaluative. Its main function is the preservation of traditions, the experience of ancestors, rules and foundations.
The child’s subtrost either obeys and adapts, experiencing guilt, or protests and acts as a navigation, decorating his speech with a childish non -verbalic: trembling lips, shocking shoulders, laughter or crying.
Adult subis plays the role of a mediator between the parent and the child. This ego is able to analyze the information, think logically and reason in order to decide what behavior most corresponds to the situations, and in time to “include” the words and actions adequate to what is happening.
All three ego-state we need. Child – a source of desires and creativity. Parent is a guarantor of survival and stability. An adult – an arbiter and an amplifier of common sense. The purpose of psychotherapy based on transactive analysis is the awareness of unproductive models of communication and the formation of new, more effective.
Not (converge) characters
Consider a typical dialogue, which can often be heard in the store and which can lead to conflict:
– How much does this item cost? – asks the buyer.
“Everything is written on the price tag,” the seller replies.
As we already know, all ego-state can be expressed with a plus sign, and with a minus sign. For example, the ego state of the child is divided into an adaptive child and free. Both free and adaptive can also manifest itself both in the plus and in the minus. The parent can also act as criticizing or as caring – also with a minus sign or plus.
In the dialogue above, the seller showed the parentalism of the parent in relation to the buyer as a child. And if the buyer is currently in the ego state of a child, then he can manifest itself, for example, a free child with a minus sign-rebel, offend and go complain.
And if he turns on the adaptive children’s ego-condition, he can obey and obediently see what is written on the price tag. Or turn to a caring parent “inside the seller” and ask: “Help me, please, I don’t see”. In response to a request, the seller can enter a state of a caring parent and help.
Let’s go for a walk?
It is easy to use transactical analysis in life. The main thing is to understand its principle and learn how to track and recognize the ego state both in himself and in a person with whom a dialogue is conducting, observing his (and strangers) facial expressions, emotions and words. Contact the partner so that the transaction of the ego state is parallel, that is, excluding the conflict, and not cross (leading to conflict). The principles of transactive analysis can be applied wherever we interact with each other – both in everyday and business communication.